A light at the end of the tunnel.

Um, I don't even know where to start. I'm HAPPY! Not about anything in particular, just undeniably, totally happy. I am not giddy, or feeling over-the-top joy but I feel normal. Whatever that is.

Last week my counselor said I either need to try St. John's Wort or a pharmaceutical. I was about to try anything. I was about at the end of my rope, quite literally. I don't think I have ever felt so, well, I'll leave it at that. I'm glad to be here.

Anyway I went home and ordered the St. John's Wort right away. I really wanted to try it before I moved on to the big guns. It came two days later and I have been taking it for 1 week and 1 day as of today.

I am so totally amazed at the changes in one week. I have successfully put my kids in bed every night including "snuggles" without yelling. I tried to raise my voice when Kyle came out of bed and it felt weird. Not the release I usually feel but almost a "check" in my being, like I was trying too hard to yell. I can't even explain it adequately. It just felt unnatural, foreign.

My kids have commented about how happy I am. I get a lot of, "Wow, Mom, you sure are in a good mood!" To be perfectly honest, that astounds me. Truly.

I hope the benefits keep up and this isn't a fluke, but I feel hopeful for the first time in forever. I will have to reassess(that word looks funny) in the summer since The St. John's Wort can cause photosensitivity :>/ but we will see.

For now, I will take what I can get.

File this under "Curiously Named Products"

I can't get the picture any bigger but this is a male enhancement product. Need I say more?

Snow Fun!

These are the very first pics I have taken with my new camera on a setting other than "auto" I am still learning, but it is fun trying. These are from this morning while everyone else was still in bed(Losers!)

A bright spot

My therapist(yay, me!) looks just like Elliot on "Scrubs" at age 60. This is a little amusing and I almost giggled out loud.

Day from Hell

Yesterday was my planned monthly trip to Costco and Trader Joes. I had to stop by the library first. I pulled into the widest parking spot thinking, "No one will ding my door here" I left the kids in the car. While at the counter, I heard my car alarm go off. I walked outside and saw a truck in the space next mine diagonal. It pulled forward and straightened out. The lady went into the library. I looked at my car and followed her in. I said, "You just hit my car." She looked at me and said, "What? No, no. I didn't." I told her my kids saw and felt it and that I saw her pulling away from it.

We went outside and she gave me her name and number. I got the license plate. She said she had no license with her. She told me to follow her back to her house to get her insurance info. Long story short. Scott wasn't happy with the lack of info so he came home and we went to the lady's house. He got the info from her. And now she has filed a complaint with his employer.

Oh and by the way, she also didn't hit my car. Despite my 4 kids witnessing it and feeling it, despite her offer to let her friend "buff it out" and despite the "I'm sorry."

Whatever.

So DH is mad at me. We finally did make it to Trader Joe's 5 hours later than we were supposed to. And instead of getting things on the list while I took Natalie to the bathroom, apparently Scott just looked around. So when I get up to the register I had to run back and grab a few things. One of those things happened to be olive oil. I happened to drop the olive oil in the middle of the frozen food aisle. Everyone on the aisle happened to exclaim, "OOOOHHH." And I happened to splash olive oil on my hours-old Keen boots(see post below).

Sorry for the boring narrative, but I needed to process.

This could be bad. Very bad.

I bought the cutest sweater at well, um Costco. But it is totally cute. I need some cute brown boots to go with it. That and I need some cute brown boots. :>) I own exactly one pair of brown shoes and they are sandals. I drug(dragged?) the kids to several stores: Marshall's, DSW, Famous Footwear, Kohl's. No one has brown boots. Unless I want a 3 inch spike heel on them. That would be a no.
And four kids tired of being dragged (drug?) to Marshall's, DSW, Famous Footwear and Kohl's was not a pretty sight.

So this gift card from my mom is just dying to be spent. Then I remembered that my mom uses Zappos.com to get shoes. Shoes delivered to my house. The next. day. If I don't like them or they don't fit, I can send them back and they pay for the shipping. Hallelujah!

So, thank you mom for these. The kids and I thank you. You have made all their shoe-shopping-with-mom dreams come true!